I
haven’t always loved it. Not that I used to hate the act, per se, just
that it wasn’t always the done thing, and I was happy to leave it alone
until my ovaries weren’t oozing everywhere. Until my current boyfriend.
We
have sex a lot, so being on my period is not at all a reason to stop
us. Why waste those precious days, just because I happen to be bleeding?
As one of my brilliant friends said, “Would you not have sex just
because you had a cold?” Hell no! But obviously, not everyone feels this
way about it.
Sure, period sex can be messy, but
life is messy! Plus bedding can be cleaned, so it’s really no big deal
if a little bit of blood ends up on the sheets. I’m sure some people
have a real phobia of messing up their duvet in this way, and that’s
fine – personal preferences are important, and we should abide by how
our partner feels on topics such as this. But if you’re curious about
period sex or, like me, just get so god damned horny when you’re
menstruating, then please do the right thing and fuck somebody. Because
it could be really great.
Let me break down the reasons I love having sex when
I’m on my period. Firstly, I love that I’m having sex. Sex is great.
Whenever, however. Next up, the fact that my man doesn’t care about a
bit of blood, a natural bodily function that happens every month, makes
the sex even better. He wants to have sex with me, no excuses. Yes
please. Next, period sex is more intense. I don’t know if it’s because
of the extra lubrication, or the fact that my body really enjoys the
extra attention when it’s going through such misery, but often my
orgasms are more intense, and I just feel great after.
Finally,
as an activity for couples, it truly feels like instead of moping,
hugging that hot water bottle and a tub of ice cream, you’re focusing on
the hot person you’re with and embracing the fun stuff that only you do
together. Being on your period is not enough of a reason for sex to be
off-limits, or for intimacy to be banned for several days.
When
I asked my Facebook friends for their opinions, it was 50/50. Some
people were straight-up disgusted. The other half were so into it, they
sent me TMI private messages about why they loved it so much.
I
was definitely heartened by the positive responses. With such a taboo
topic, it can be nerve-wracking to ask people for their opinions as you
never know what response you’ll get. I have no qualms telling people I
love period sex, but realise that some people will be disgusted by this
fact and think I’ve made bad life choices. But judging others is pretty
sucky, so let’s examine some anonymous online responses on the topic.
Someone gave me one of the best summations from one
of their friends. Apparently, period sex is the equivalent of vomiting
while giving a blow-job. Wait, what?! This may be one of the most
misogynistic things I’ve ever heard. So throwing up on someone, an act
which although is a normal bodily function, only occurs in certain
circumstances, is akin to period blood, which happens to almost all
women (and only women, as opposed to vomit which is universal) every
month throughout their lives.
I found this
comparison pretty offensive. My vagina doesn’t vomit blood, just as your
stomach doesn’t start a gentle flow of bile on a particular day each
month. The fact that the vagina is demonized this way on a regular basis
is constantly shocking to me. Why are we allowing our important
lady-parts to be denigrated, considered filthy and offensive? Haven’t we
moved on from Biblical statements about women being unclean on their
periods? It seems not.
Next up there were friends who had never discussed
period sex with their partners, had never done it and would never want
to. Although I’d advocate talking about absolutely everything with your
partner, I can totally understand knowing something isn’t for you and
just not doing it. The honesty with which these friends opened up,
openly discussing all the feels they have about the issue, was totally
heartening, and I’m glad there’s a discourse, and an opportunity for
self-reflection.
Finally, there were those
individuals who revel in giving as much information as possible on
personal topics. And I salute these people. The women who said, “Why
wouldn’t I get mine when I’m on my period?” or, “Nothing stops a man
having sex for a week each month, so why should anything stop me?” are
my heroes.
What’s important, though, is to do
whatever feels right for you. If for any reason you don’t want to have
period sex, and you know in your heart/vagina that it’s not right for
you, then don’t. What I’m all for is self-examination, and figuring out
why you might feel a certain way about an act like this. Whether you
care to admit it or not, there are often deep-rooted prejudices in many
people’s opinions and beliefs, and unpacking these can throw up some
surprising opportunities you may never have considered.
I
love period sex, and can’t recommend it enough. If there’s a voice in
your head that thinks you might be in the same school of thought, I
encourage you to throw caution, and your tampon, to the wind. You may
surprise yourself.