Some Funny Thoughts Women Have During Sex

“Maybe if I make noise, he’ll finish faster”

Let’s be real: after we orgasm, sex isn’t all that amazing feeling anymore. It’s not bad, it’s not good, it’s just whatever. And whatever doesn’t elicit moans out of us. But, we’ve all made pretend noises to speed our guy along, after we’re done.

“Was that a fart?”

When two sweaty bodies press up against each other at just the right speed and angle, a very unfortunate sound can result. But did he think I made that sound?!

“Seriously—what is the right way to give a bj?”

Bjs are sort of mysterious things—the tiniest details make the biggest difference and since the end result is always the same, it’s hard to gauge how good or bad we are at them. A lot of us wonder if we’ve been doing it wrong this whole time, and men just survive our bjs rather than enjoy them!

“Hand jobs make me feel like I’m in high school”

Don’t worry: you’re not dirty or super raunchy because you’d rather skip to giving the guy oral. Hand jobs are very reminiscent of fooling around with your high school boyfriend under the blankets while watching a movie.